Don’t know why I spent time this weekend walking down the razor edge cliff of sorting and viewing digital photos. I filled up many compact flash cards with ones of you, I know now. I was worried I would fall off the ledge and go spiraling down. I should not look at the photos, at least not yet. But like a moth to a flame, I could not resist.
Lo and behold though, I realized that it didn’t hurt like I thought it would. It’s almost as though the anticipation of the pain of a life without you was worse than the actuality of it. Not that it doesn’t hurt. I miss you immensely and still don’t want to think this is forever, but I knew I would be okay when I saw this one poorly-taken photo, and it made me laugh a little. You are smiling, Yo La Tengo shirt, latch-hook project in lap, blurry like big foot.