Do you know tonight that JT has been here? I saw that you called earlier. We’ve been doing the thing that we do… out with family, beautiful family, and children. You knew me when his father died. Still as close as I’ve ever come. I guess it will all come to haunt me one day. I think I know god these days, but I am not sure that he has prepared me for that yet.
Do you also know that the nights we spent in this bed, we became locked in rhythm? That’s a funny word. Doesn’t even look right on paper. I could feel your heart beat through your back as I clenched you tightly, and you held me so close. Our hearts beat as one for a while there. I kissed your bare back, and would.
J and I stared at a picture of you in Helen today. I know that was a disaster weekend, but you were so beautiful. We were trying to keep something alive amidst a sense of death. I loved you then as much as ever. I wish we cold have just simply slept together. That I could have simply felt your heart exploding through your spine and back, and into my heart, like I always thought you intended it to. Know that I have always loved you the most. Know that you taught me what it is to feel that. Know that your face turned my heart totally.
You have power that I love, and embrace.
I hear morning birds singing… for me, and for you.
I love you so much, G.