Working on freelance tonight, my constant churn, and after the baseball games were over for the day, Elizabethtown was on and I remembered that there was some connection to you with that movie. I got sucked in, again, and put off going to bed for an hour to reach the pathos to be granted at the end. You remember? The salmon swim up stream risking and causing, at times, there own death, but in that journey they are guaranteeing life. I don’t really know. I guess that’s a way to look at things. It’s worth getting bloodied if it makes all of this more worth it, if it leads to something better for us, or someone else. I feel bloodied a bit these last couple of days. Not horribly so, just a little bruised maybe. But strangely I feel free too. I hate that it meant giving up on us, and on you, for that to happen, but I guess it’s kind of like those salmon.
But then of course there’s the Tom Petty songs, “It’ll all work out” and “Square one.” I remember you making me listen to them in your car, likely sitting outside of my house one night. I am not sure. Strange sad yet hopeful sentiment in both of them, but I feel some valuable instruction there as well.
Still I wish that the living was a little easier, that I could have my dreams come true. Or at least that I could have another crack at so many of them.
Or, perhaps, it is time for the new dreams…
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