And all of the pretty things are here, and you are too. Toto. And you were there too, and you and you and you. And there’s a kid in there, and he’s big, and dumb and kind of scared of what may come after this. I can imagine my little legs tangling with yours, but he’s much taller and handsomer and deserves the permanent spot in your life, your house, your arms. I’ve got my angels too. They love me darling. I want my heart entangled with yours but time and circumstance forbids it now. Once as it was, and always as it should be. I no longer want to drive my car headlong into the side of his now illegally parked car. I accept it as a symptom of my day-to-day life. It all hurts, but less and less. I want your fanny full stop across my face, but I realize that it doesn’t happen that way ever again. Age brings on more nuanced approaches to sexual conduct of that kind.
Robert’s love has left him in much the same way that you have left me. She needs more space. She will dangle him around for awhile and take joy in his dangling. He will come out better for it.
I saw Jonathan the other night. He asked ME about YOU. I told him to come over and play violin.
Music can save us all. Tomorrow night we will keep the car running. Tonight it was rhapsodic fuel of love that made all differences indifferent. I wish you could have been there, but that would have never happened. Buy the Sunset Rubdown album. Play at top volume and ask Nate if he understands. Ask yourself. If only you do, then come back to me. If he does too, marry him and know you have my good graces. But do not lie. I have not lied to you in longer than you, despite what you may have imagined.
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