Shoopy doo

The cat power has always been with me, despite the fact that you think their butts are unsanitary. I have been in love with you forever it seems. A house in the country with a screen door flapping, in Prosperity, SC, two kids in the yard, football, hula hoop, limbo. I cry at my therapist about a dream that I had for years of which you were the protagonist, and me. I realize that it was my dream. I was all of the players, all protagonists, including you. I built a pillar so high that I put you on, and that being that sat atop that pillar was to be my wife, wifey, beloved… mother of my children. I was absent, intentionally from the dream. I’ve lived in bars, possibly too much. Drank a bit too much. Had, possibly, too much fun. Cried a bit too much too for a man. But, I possibly loved too much, and in too much a fucked up way. It was not the bottle that broke me and you up. It was the impossibility of us loving each other in the ways that our actions promised too early on. We could never live up to the fantasy. No one could. You would still be gone now if I were a teetotaler. Perhaps I would too. It’s not the bottle’s fault. It’s not God’s fault. He says it ain’t him. We have no free will, but we have influence on it. One decision made precludes a thousand other possible ones.
I do know I am a beautiful man. A good man. A flawed man, yes. That will love and be loved by someone one day. You’ve admitted as such, even though I don’t need you to say it.
“You will be loved.”
I am working through accepting you as what you are, off that pillar. I am trying to not care if you change. I have no hope of a reunion, a reconciliation. Your place in my heart is secure even if we never speak again.
I just want you happy, as I hope you want me too.
I will give up the hatred I feel. Be good to the new boy. Hope he will be good to you too.
Shoopy doo! Shoopy doo!
I love you, I love you…
Was playing: Two-Headed Boy, Pt. 2 by