Tuesday was one month since G and I broke up. Yesterday was her birthday. In the month after the breakup I worked on a long series of short pieces about G and what she means to me, why I love her and such. So much had become confused in me and in her and between us in the last few months and I needed to start sorting it out in my head. All of the pieces were attached to a memory of her, and involved me remembering small details and talking about what those details taught me about her. The aspects of G that were brought to light ranged from the very cerebral to the somewhat goofy. All of it was heartfelt, and I spent many tearful hours sitting over the keyboard to work out all of the stuff. I gave it to her for her birthday yesterday and I hope it means, and will continue to mean, a lot to her.
Yesterday in my therapy session, I was discussing these writings with my therapist and he made the suggestion that I might think of doing the same for myself. He said that part of the process that I was going through right now was learning to like and value myself more, and that he thought going through this process would maybe help me identify some things that would move me in that direction.
As I cannot seem to write anything unless I at least have an imaginary audience, I thought I would post them here. Most of my readers here are my friends, and it is the 21st century, and blogs offer the possibility of feedback from these friends and everything, so I figured I could easily make this part of my therapy. It may just as easily be boring for the my friends/readers out there. If so, I am sorry, and I will imagine that you continue to read. If indeed you do read and you care to share thoughts, memories, or what have you, please do. I will try to respond to the comments.
This may sound very pompous and egotistical, but I really need to be a little self-centered right now. I will try to keep things attached to specific events and memories. Some of you will probably even be players in the stories at times. I will change the names if the guilty need to be protected. Ultimately I hope to start gaining a better sense of self worth through this, and other aspects of my therapy. I will try to write something 4 to 5 times a week in this series. I hope to keep it interesting. I will also continue my Medication diaries, but they may be less often. After all, how many times can you talk about Cheerios, dosing, and Diet Coke in the morning without it getting boring.
Please share any thoughts you have as I believe that the more interactive this is, the more progress I will be able to make, the more I will get to know myself, and the more you guys may get to know me in the process.
Recent Comments