Today began late. I any of you noticed the timestamp on last night’s post, you will see that I was up late. I awoke this morning around 11, immediately got a Diet Coke and popped my Wellbutrin. Last night was somewhat of a blur. Too many stimuli, felt like nights that I have been nostalgic for many times over recent years. Interesting conversation with interesting people about things that most of the time would seem so un-ininteresting, but that due to the circumstances are just perfect.
Today was lazy though. I limited my stimuli. I wanted to just be comatose and not care for a while. I watched football, while keeping up with my second loss in a row in my fantasy league (damn those Dunaway boys!). T came over with a pizza in the middle of the afternoon and we ate and napped and I played video poker. T left shortly before 6 to go play real poker with the understanding that we would mee later for dinner, which we did after pinball, club soda, popcorn, conversation.
My original goal of not caring (too much), the one I made at the beginning of the day, is almost complete now. I have managed to go through the day without too much care and I have to say it has felt pretty good. There was none of the beating myself up that had characterized many of my days lately. There was none of the mind-racing over-analysis, none of the what-ifs, and none of the concern with much of anyone but me, and how I could make it through the day carefree.
Tomorrow work begins again and I have to get my prescription filled so I can keep writing here. Come to think of it, thinking about those things and writing this now has started making care-full. I think I’ll just end things there so as not to ruin the day just as I am about to complete it.
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