Yesterday was my first day on Wellbutrin. I awoke in the morning, turned on the morning news shows on TV, and ate a bowl of cold cereal. Then I went to the kitchen and with a bit of adrenalin running through me I popped my first 150 milligrams.
The day went along okay, but through too much playing Sudoku and to much letting my mind go silly, I entered into a very dark mood in the late afternoon. Given that the drug takes at least two weeks to start really taking an effect, I am sure that it was not the medication. I fell into a pit of despair, considering several times checking myself into the psych ward at the hospital. Later I realized that this more of an impulse to have someone take care of me, to have constant therapy, to not have to think about the ordinary things. I got over it.
When i got home from work, I called my mother and she gave me a pep talk about all of the good stuff I have been doing lately. About handling my drinking and depression issues head on. She said that she had never seen anyone so actively address issues in their life in such a short time. That I should be proud of myself, and that that pride should be a source of comfort for me. It made me feel better. I am becoming a better person, even though most of the steps along the path are painful.
Tommy came over soon after that and we went to dinner, talked with Grant about children, drinking and things he knows now as he gets ready to turn 50 soon that he wished he had known earlier in his life. Some time during all of this G called. She told me that ‘The Biggest Loser” was coming on TV, she just wanted to remind me. Then she told me she missed me. We talked for a little while. I cried tears of joy and relief in the back lot of The Local. My day had been iced. I slept well last night.
Recent Comments