Levity

Larry Levis is killing me tonight. He is reminding me that it is Christmas and that things are supposed to be good and that you will still be lonely at the end of the day no matter what you find beside you, that it is you that makes you lonely and that your habits will eventually catch up with you, and your tendencies too and that all those pictures in a box are gone, thoroughly gone, now. That time is passing you by and that tomorrow will create memories that you will want to recreate years from now, but tomorrow will seem like an excruciating day on the surface. He also teaches me that there is a love out there that will make it all make sense, and maybe she has already been, but maybe she hasn’t. Maybe I have met her before, or just recently, or not yet at all. My job is to live, just simply live, and be good until the mystery reveals itself, possibly in a dream, possibly in a bar, possibly this time next year as the wind grows colder and my eyes begin to dry – when I can finally laugh at myself again.