Oh rock and roll can’t answer me and you. I suppose we both get tired with the circumstances we find ourselves in and we think briefly of each other. We stand in a friend’s backyard and look across the yard at the person that we have it all figured out with and we question ourselves. There’s no way that he loves Clary like I do. There’s just no way. She had become my niece present in this town. I have lost her too. You get her and he does too. Tell her about me one day, please.
We will live our lives now so separate. You will convince yourself of happiness because you do not truly know what it is. I will learn to imagine a happiness that does not include you.
I will turn this space off in the coming weeks as I need to let you go from my life. There will be no letters for your teenage daughter to read. There will be nothing of me in your life but your memories. Yours!
And those will fade too.
I think we could have had something true. Maybe we did, but you and I both decided to crap on it. At least I feel that I kept you a little longer than most did after the fantasy ran its course.
It’s too bad you don’t like baseball. It’s too bad you could not be more consistent and stable and loving and not plunging toward every helpless diving lure that was thrown your way.
I fucked up so much, but it was not just me baby.
Fix yourself for me or him, but mostly, for you please. Be happy, be happy, be happy. Figure that out and you have the secret of life.
Happy Easter.
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