I fell down a thousand wells to get here. Thirty three years and a month or two to get there. I like my butterflies, but not like you like butterflies. Ten day off medication. Wish that this mess wasn’t mine to deal with.
I sing alleluia, alleluia. The lord is my shepherd. He makes me whole. I ask you for so many things, oh pretty boy. I still believe. I still believe. I still believe. After all of this I finally and still believe.
The prisms through which we try to view this life bring us sadness, joy, heartbreak, etc. Mine is a dark crystal, yet turning light.
I drink sparkling water from a can tonight, with a touch of lemon, or something like that.
Don’t kill me when I think these things can be real. Don’t kill me, oh lord, for believing.
Take me to a river where all of these sins can be washed away. A swift running river where everything I have done is five miles down stream already. Where we have all already seen God and passed or signed up for the passage.
Forgive me father for I have done things. I have told lies. I have tried my best to protect whatever it is that I understand myself to be. Forgive me father, and mother, and friends, and little tiny animals. Forgive me, all of you.
There are pictures of me, in this place, of people I do not know, and they keep asking me to remember, and I continue to say no.
Let’s fall asleep and see if we can awake as Peter Pan. Please Peter Pan? Can we make this happen. Before I become nothing and the world takes on far more heft?
Six days on the road, but I’m gonna make it home tonight… but to what?
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