It was a little over a year ago now, after finishing work I headed up through South Carolina to Spartanburg, on my way, the next day, to North Carolina and home for the holidays. I drive into Sparkle and directly to a party where G is already, and there’s time for drinks and then there is time for talking with her friends and then there is back home and to bed and all. But during that party there was a moment outside having a cigarette when I noticed that standing out from the moon, a good distance out, was a light ring. My grandfather had once explained to me that this meant “falling weather” was ahead. That was the Christmas party right before I would get the offer of an engagement ring that was also ill-self-advised.
Tonight I was out to a party for a while with CG and then back home I tried to arrange a phone call with St. Louis, but that wasn’t happening, with the time change and all, and then there was a ring on the phone from T. The first one with him saying to someone else, “I am not an officer,” and then telling me he would call back. The second was, “I am drunk and at the Winchester and hitting on women.” I decided to head down as the aforementioned phone call with the midwest had not happened and I was curious as to seeing the scene.
After arriving at the Winchester I found T, and he was drunk, as was the whole place, and I found a place in the corner to watch people at a bar at 1 AM and write notes, think about the night, my life and desires.
Lo and behold a guy in a pizza costume walks in and it is all fun and games at first until he hits a chair, and decides to toss it crashing into my shin. D, the manager of the place, quickly tosses the pizza from the bar. I wrap up my writing as T comes over to tell me there is a female youngun that wants to meet me. I go along and she dresses hair, or is a stylist, as they like to be called.
Things sputter out after a few minutes and we are left talking with the usual crowd and T gets all down about himself, what he looks like, who he is. He starts cursing God, giving him the finger, right at this time when I have started letting God back into my life. He calls JC on the phone and lets her have it, via voicemail, twice! He gets louder and I keep hugging him, keep telling him it’s going to be okay. He keeps cursing.
I realize sometimes you have to do these things. Sometimes it wells up inside of you and it has to get out. It seems to come more frequently where alcohol is involved, but it still must come. I don’t really know how it all works at the end of the day, we all will wake in the morning feeling ashamed from time to time.
I get back home and take a look at the moon, though. And there’s the ring again. Looks like there will be falling weather again. Looks like the weather will be general all over Georgia soon.
And maybe the falling weather will come, and maybe T and I will feel it wash all over us, and for a while it might feel good. But, sooner or later the cacophony will rise to a level where we both will go the closet for a towel. We will dry ourselves off, and we will get on with this. We will realize the misguidance of these misguided nights. That fate or not fate has a story to tell that cannot be denied. That falling weather is general all across our state, but that will soon bring spring and youth, and we will again be good.
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