Black Dog

I feel terrible today. At sometime this afternoon a black dog crept up behind me and now he stays at my heel no matter what. I don’t have the will to shoo him away. I have to lie to people: “Yes, I’m fine.” I’m not fine; I’m in a low. I don’t know if I am coping. What the fuck is coping? I’m scared, I’m alone, I miss my mother. I want her back. Please, someone bring her back. Just one more year, that’s all. Just one more Christmas. Just one more telephone conversation. Please, someone take away the pain. It’s burning inside me and I think it’s slowly turning into anger. But I have no one to feel angry with, except myself. No one loves me as much as she did, no one ever will, and that’s a fact.