Lips

Tissues asked for by the afflicted may be found in boxes of this sort.

Winter has finally arrived here in the United Kingdom. As a smoker of hand-rolled cigarettes, the main hazard this most dismal of British seasons presents to me is the increased likelyhood of the rolling paper fusing itself to the lower lip. There is no way of knowing that this has happened until it is far too late. That is to say, one only becomes aware of adhesion when the cigarette has been removed from the mouth along with a sizeable square of skin and a minor, yet still alarming, amount of blood.

Don’t be mistaken in thinking that the cigarette has actually been frozen to the lip – the winters in Britain rarely get so cold as to freeze bodily fluids. No, it’s the paucity of lubricating saliva associated with this time of year that causes paper to bond with labial skin.
The only methods I know to avoid such an injury are: i) to keep the lips moist while smoking, which can promote chapping and render the cigarette damp and unsmokeable; or ii) to refrain from smoking while outdoors – not an option to a true nicotine devotee on his way home from the pub.

So if you see bloodied cigarette stubs in the gutter, or notice bohemian types with bleeding lips, you’ll know the cause. All we ask is sympathy and maybe a tissue to staunch the flow.