I went back to the “Anthology of American Folk Music” today, the one that Harry Smith did. I was listening through while at work getting ready for my “man club” meeting tonight: a listening party. I knew that day that you played the Carter Family’s “Single Girl, Married Girl” that I had heard it before, but couldn’t place where. Then on the 5th disc of the set, there it is. It took me back to not when I first got the “Anthology” but to when I was listening to it in your living room. I like the song so much, but I don’t feel that it’s appropriate for the man club, and furthermore I would have to explain why I included, something I am having to think too much about for all of the songs I am including. This one I don’t have to think as much about, but I don’t want to tell my reasons. I have to say some of the best times I have had with you have been in the last year. I miss all of the physical stuff and all of that, a lot, but I really enjoyed the way we got along during this time. The way we talked and things didn’t have to be as loaded with resentment and guilt. These songs remind me of the last year and I can just smile, and I could just cry. I’ll try the...
Did a simple thing like taking melatonin tonight. Have to work the early shift tomorrow and need to force myself to go to sleep. If I just think about you, toned, red t-shirt, floppy-haired, fighting sleep like a baby, longing for it – I can finally smile. I like tucking you into bed. I need to do the same for myself...
Don’t know why I spent time this weekend walking down the razor edge cliff of sorting and viewing digital photos. I filled up many compact flash cards with ones of you, I know now. I was worried I would fall off the ledge and go spiraling down. I should not look at the photos, at least not yet. But like a moth to a flame, I could not resist. Lo and behold though, I realized that it didn’t hurt like I thought it would. It’s almost as though the anticipation of the pain of a life without you was worse than the actuality of it. Not that it doesn’t hurt. I miss you immensely and still don’t want to think this is forever, but I knew I would be okay when I saw this one poorly-taken photo, and it made me laugh a little. You are smiling, Yo La Tengo shirt, latch-hook project in lap, blurry like big...
She said she liked patriotic marches, so he bought a sousaphone. They marched around the backyard, sometimes naked, she the drum major, he carrying on the bass line for a melody to be imagined. It could irritate the neighbors. He liked to drink while they played these games. She put up with it as long as the marches could continue. It was then that she decided that bluegrass was the new sensation. He grew a beard, wore overalls, bought a mandolin that would keep the neighbors up all night. Next it was jazz and the laborious move of a grand piano and the purchase of a used baritone saxophone. During this phase they entertained more. The neighbors, once their enemies, became newfound friends. Soon they started going to galleries and museums and she read artist biographies: Van Gogh, Gaudin, Picasso, Raushenberg, Warhol. They filled what was supposed to be the nursery, or so they thought when they bought the place, with canvasses. She took to drinking. Posing nude for him to paint her. Hours-long sessions would end with sex on the drop cloth. They talked of buying land, starting a commune. They didn’t see much of the neighbors during this period. When they did choose the be around others, it was always with the new friends in the city. One day she came home in a new car and a new business suit. She said that she had been thinking. It was time for him to grow up. She had let a place in the city, with a new Wall-Street type that she had met at the opening reception...
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When you are not with me, remember and keep me close. If you do not feel me, concentrate a little and I am there. There’s this song that I can’t stop listening to that makes 3/4 sense, and that’s good enough. It’s a divorce song, or a 3/4 divorce song for me. It says about 3/4 of what I feel about you. The truth, lies, heartbreak, and...
My landlord’s got a new girlfriend and I can tell she’s trouble. I saw them walking down the road tonight to get a slice of pizza. She was in these black skin-tight shorts and he was in that same old baseball hat that hugs the skull like balding dudes like me and him like to wear these days. She kept on having to pull the little black shorts out of her crack as they walked ahead of me. I just paid the rent yesterday, so now he acts like he doesn’t know me. My experience with the landlord is that he has a bluebird made of plaster on the back wall of his front porch. He also has a kitchen sink, and easy chair, and a large roll of copper tubing on the same porch. Once a month I go to his house across the street, usually in the cover of darkness, and leave the largest check I write every month in his mailbox, in the process committing a federal crime. His experience with me is that I leave that check and he let’s me live in this house that he got for a steal, and that he occasionally fixes a leaky faucet. Under my landlord lives a British guy named George of whom I know little. He loves Princess Diana and hate Charles and Camilla. He takes my recycling out to the curb, usually three days before the city picks it up. George works for the landlord and, according to the neighborhood homeless guy, handed in his two-week’s notice a few days ago and is moving on to...
After being beaten decisively in N.C. and not winning by the desired or expected margin in Indiana yesterday, Hillary Clinton today vows to fight on, stating in so many words that “she must continue to stand up for what she believes in.” Is it me or has what either of the candidates “believes in” become more and more difficult to discern as this campaign has gone on? We know that both candidates are solidly “democratic” in most of their stances, but, as far as I can see, there’s little that separates either of them on most of the issues. They have similar approaches to many issues (e.g. health care), and both have yet to propose any substantive plans for other issues (e.g. the economy). As the campaign has gone on longer, issues have taken a back seat to personal attacks. The energy put forth by both campaigns is purely being used for spin, media manipulation and smear. That energy could, and should, be being put toward developing a real platform and agenda that can be used to defeat McCain in November. It’s time for Hillary to step down and let the general election campaign to begin in earnest. It’s time to start making plans and figuring out how we are going to really handle the mess in Iraq, the failing economy and it’s international ramifications, the economic disparity between the rich and (increasingly) poor, environmental protection, etc. For Hillary to continue the contest at a point in which it is mathematically impossible for her to get the nomination (unless she manages to pull strings within the party and gain...
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