Two nights in Durham, three dreams about three other ex-girlfriends. Seems appropriates since I still save my daydreams mostly for you.
Interesting Op-Ed piece on nytimes.com today by Paul Krugman called “Gore Derangement Syndrome”. I mean, I’ve never claimed to be the biggest Gore fan, but he has turned out right a lot more than he’s turned wrong in recent years (besides the, possibly urban legend, claim of inventing the Internet). Favorite quote: “So if science says that we have a big problem that can’t be solved with tax cuts or bombs — well, the science must be rejected, and the scientists must be...
I don’t know what it is. Perhaps too much time alone over this weekend. I do know that part of it is that I am broke, and that being broke makes me feel immature, and angry. I know it also has to do with not hearing from CNN about the job, and that makes me feel like I am not good enough. I also know part of it is worrying about mom and what we will find out this week. I need to get home this coming weekend, but I am afraid of what I will be walking in on. I know I probably won’t even notice, but what will mom look like without her rib. I know it is not really logical and it makes no sense. I guess when I spend time with you sometimes, I feel like a failure too. I tend to think that all of this would be more bearable if you were still with me. I know that kind of thinking was part of the problem, and I also know that our relationship caused more problems than it solved, but somehow in my memory or fantasy of it, it seems like we gave each other strength to get through the hard times, to get through things just like these. I have been pretty good about not thinking about “me and you” and not wanting “me and you” again. But today was hard. Surely part of it is a very physical longing, but most of it is that you are still the person that I would prefer to spend time with the most. I...
The thing that I dream or fantasy about when I am prone to those things. I still remember you, living room floor, bedroom. I want you completely still.
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